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Living in a sexless marriage can be miserable. Often, the lack of sexual or physical intimacy is a symptom of a bigger, deeper problem. It’s not just a matter of libido or sexual arousal. Sexless marriage can be caused by several factors, such as:

  • depression
  • infidelity
  • physical abuse
  • emotional abuse
  • incompability

Sexless Marriage Survival for Men

Men do suffer when sex is lacking in a marriage and sometimes they tend to divert their attention to other things which may then lead them to commit infidelity. Sex is not only a physical attachment to men but it is also the emotional bond to the relationship. Men is not all about sex because it satisfies their physical need but because it makes them feel loved and adored, just like when women feel loved when they are praised and cuddled. What should men do when they are in the situation like this? Should they give in to temptation or work it out and save the marriage?

Hold on and keep your pants up!
When men meet a deficiency, there is a reflex action for them to seek more of that deficiency. Their need starts to build up and it starts to take over their minds. They think of it and they get bothered so they tend to ease out and release the tension through other means. This is something that they should avoid. When women doesn’t want to have sex, respect it. Wait for her to be ready because you can’t force her into making love with you when she’s not in the mood. Understand that women are governed by their hormones and they are moody most of the time. Be patient and you’ll get what you want when she’s ready.

Watch your favorite sports.

When you are feeling the heat of your body raising up and you feel that your wife is not in the mood, divert yourself from thinking of sex. Turn on the TV and watch your favorite sports. Divert your attention so that you would not think about having sex with you wife. If you have kids, play with them,  its not just easing up your tension but as well as a bonding time for you and your children.

Go out with your guy friends.
Guys love to hang out. I know you do as well so try to give time to your friends. Make an effort to see them. When you have a lot of things to do, you won’t notice about the lack of sex and you wouldn’t think about sex at all. But be careful when going out with your male friends because they may lead you to the night clubs. Its not bad to go there, your an adult and you know that clubs like that are full of temptations so you shouldn’t spent time in places like those.

Avoid the things that trigger your need.
Its more of a prevention. But when its your wife that initiates the deed, get a good grab on it. When its the intimate part of the movie you are watching or the couple kissing in the park, avoid looking at it. When your senses are triggered, they find a way to release this desire. When your wife is not ready for this, save it for the time when she’s ready. When its the movie, go to the kitchen to get some drinks or popcorn, if its a couple in front of you, look at your other side. Just avoid it. When it seeks you then you are off to go.

Talk to your wife.
When you feel that its already too much and you just can’t hold on for another day, talk to your wife and tell her about it. There is nothing wrong with airing out your concerns and she should always be involved with your problems because she’s your wife. Tell her what you need and ask her what her preferences are. Discuss about the situation and how you two are going to handle it.

Sexless Marriage drives Men crazy

First things first. What is it about sex that makes men go gaga about it? Sure enough, sex is something that men love so much and the pleasure that it brings is really incomparable especially to men. The need for sex comes from two things, the physical gratification that men just can’t resist and the most important one: the emotional aspect that it brings. The wives might be saying, Emotional?When did our husbands become emotional hunks? They are not as emotional as the ladies are but then that doesn’t mean that they are all bulk and muscles and no heart at all.

Men and women are entirely different creatures and just as how complicated things are, they also feel and show emotions through greatly varied ways. Ladies love to be cuddled and showered with praises but men have a different style when it comes to affection, they see it through nothing else but… sex.

Now what happens when there is no sex in a marriage?
Men are more emotionally attached to their wives after marriage. What, with the bond that that marriage have bonded them, who wouldn’t feel much loved and trusted after that? They feel that the love and passion that the marriage have bestowed upon them have intensified. Now, men are not the cuddly type. Its not that they don’t appreciate your kisses and hugs but they are more inclined to much more intimate gestures. They are so deep that they find satisfaction with deeper expressions of love.
When sex is then diminished from a marriage, its more like they don’t feel loved at all. Its not because they crave for it physically but because it feeds their hearts as well. They look at it as an expression of love and we can’t do anything about it unless we give it to them. Sex may seem like just a physical gratification but for men, its more of an emotional need.

Sexless Marriage after baby: why?

Newly married couples are always on the run into having their own babies. It’s like a race to have their own little cuddly human stuff toys for people to envy them. Its always a blessing to have a baby but what is it about having a baby that makes the marriage a not so happy one? What is it about babies that makes marriage a sexless one? Is it about the baby?

Its not the Baby.


First of all, don’t ever blame the baby for whatever it is that your marriage is experiencing. Your baby is God’s gift for you to have your own family and that is actually not a bad thing. You should keep in mind that it is the both of you, you yourself and your spouse that manages how your marriage will work and not the baby. If you are not having sex, its because there is a problem with yourself or your partner and not because the baby has arrived. Such an ignorant angel shouldn’t get all the blame.

Its not me, Its us.

When you notice that you are having no sex days, you might think about reasons why and you always try to see the bad in your partner and not yourself. You think that it is your spouse that is having problems and that you should be blamed about it. “It takes two to tango”. Whatever it is that you are experiencing, you still have a part for how it happened, no matter how small it is or how indirect your actions may be, you are still part of it. So be kind enough to admit that you also committed a mistake and its not just your partner that has wrong.

Its about your priorities.

When women fell in love, all that they see is the subject of their adoration. When they get married, all that they think about is their husband. We have this strong inclination to strong relationship ties that we really tend to be all over our spouse. Admit it, its so nice to feel cuddled and loved by your husbands all the time right. And men love this so much. They enjoy every single moment of it. But then, when the baby comes, they fall completely in love with these little angels that they tend to forget that they are still wives of their husbands. This is so true when women try to think about their children’s condition and nothing else. They see nothing but their children and they left out the part when they have to be wives to their husbands.

Its wearing you out.

Everybody who have children can relate to this. When your partner is going to work and you have no one to help you tend the house and care for the baby, its exhausting, right? You just can’t let a quick nap to slip away when the baby is asleep or when you have done your chores. The job is fulfilling and a complete enjoyment but at the end of the day, your too tired to have time for a some love making. Who would have time to make love when you have stood for 4 hours because the baby will cry when you let him/her down on the crib? This is a simple matter but then it will eventually eat up your energy and make you useless in bed, literally.

No sex after baby?What happens after birth?

Most of the time, it is the men who notice or suffer the lack of sex after birth. After months of enduring sexless nights during the pregnancy, they were wrong to think that the abstinence will be gone after the baby is born. But then, what really happens after birth that makes women surrender sex? What do men have to know so that they will understand why their wives act this way?

When women get married, all they think about is their husband. They can’t get enough of you. They would want to spend all their time with you. And this is the period of your nonstop sex. You may actually have it every night. You are greatly enjoyed by this time because you feel that your wife loves you and that you will never get separated from each other.

And then the news came, she’s pregnant! You were both happy because you’ll be a complete family. This is the stat of her mood swings and emotional outbreaks but then you understand her because she is going through a rough time. The truth is, when a woman is pregnant her hormones are like riding a rollercoaster. It goes up and down rapidly making her a nagger at one time and very sweet sometimes. You have to understand that during this time, there are changes that happens inside her that she may also be a stranger to. Besides, you are the father of the child she is carrying, you also have to bear the struggles that she is experiencing. This is the time that her tummy is growing big and she’s gaining weight. She feels inferior because she is no longer the sexy and fit lady that you were married to. Her insecurities are starting to buildup and this is the time that you have to be with her and make her feel that she is the most wonderful lady for you.

Months after, she is in labor and just hours past, you are now looking at your baby! Its a very awesome feeling. You are a father now. You have to expect that she would want to spend most of her time with your baby. Her attention is always drawn to your little baby and maybe you just have to give her time to enjoy your baby. after months of another sexless nights, you may gradually start seducing her into having sex with you. But then what is it that hinders her from making love with you? After birth, she wants to shed off all the extra weight that she gained during the pregnancy. She doesn’t want to make love with you while she thinks that she’s ugly and that she’s huge or big. Give her time to regain her self confidence and you may also boost it by giving her compliments (and I mean compliments). When her self-esteem is slowly building up again, you may ease into getting her into bed. Always try to make her feel that she is still the most beautiful woman for you. After pregnancy, women have a lot of insecurities; they think they are huge, they think they are ugly,they think that you will never love her again when you see her body that way. What you need to do is to make her feel that you never lost your hunger for her love. Just like when you were beginning your family, make her feel your passion the fire and the heat of your body. Make her feel that it is her that you want the most and that you love her no matter what and the rest will follow.

Sexless Marriage Survival for Women

Women have one thing in common: they all want to be loved and be married someday. Being married comes with a lot of sacrifices and getting to get used to phase but then what happens if this dream marriage turns into a disaster? how are we going to cope up with this?

One of the most common problems of marriages today is the lack of sex. Even young couples experience this dilemma. Seeing it from this point, what do women can do when this like this happen to them? A sexless marriage is a very delicate matter especially to women because they don’t usually discuss matter about sex to their friends. They may even be shy to talk about it with their husbands. But then when you are in this situation, you have to take action and do what you can do to save your relationship.

Do something about it
Just like in any problem that you have, you need to take action when you see your condition to be leading to a sexless marriage. Believe that there is still a way for you to resolve this problem and there is hope for you to change that scenario. Make an effort to alleviate the problem. Don’t just stand there and stare at your marriage that is slowly deteriorating. You have your own discretion to know what is good or wrong for your relationship and you always know what your husband will appreciate, do everything to please and soon your problems will be solved.

Talk to your husband

This may be the thing that you feel like doing the least because of a number of things. One is that you feel that sex is something that your husband may feel unnecessary to talk about. But then, think about it, if you were able to talk about sooner, then the problem wouldn’t have progressed to a level where you can no longer do something about it or it is just plain hard to talk about it because there is already a lot of things that have piled up along with it. Take the risk of talking about this issue as soon as you think possible, you might be saving a lot of effort if you do this part in an earlier time.

Rekindle the romance

Romance, passion, desire are all the things that were lost once a sexless marriage occurs and maybe all you have to do is bring it back. It may feel awkward to do this because its like seducing and flirting with your husband but that is something that a marriage shouldn’t fall short of. If you feel like there is not enough romance in your marriage and that you may not be spending ample time with each other, do something about it as soon as you notice it. Surprise your husband with a candlelight dinner and an overnight stay in a hotel where you can relax, and maybe do some “exercise” that both your body and soul needs, soon enough you won’t be needing this article anymore! 🙂

Seek help

If you just can’t handle the situation anymore, don’t hesitate to ask help from people that you trust the most. You can even go to a counseling so that you’re problem will be handled by an expert or a professional, then you’ll know you’re in good hands. It is then necessary for you to ask your spouse to take part in the counseling because it would only be put to waste if he’s not going to participate.

No Sex Policy: Disabilities and illnesses that keeps sex away

Sex is a basic need of man. Its fulfillment mainly involves the readiness and the ability of the couple to meet the requirements needed to perform this love act. But then, our health greatly varies and some people are unfortunate to have illness that cause them to dislike or avoid sex. Its either they have no other choice but to avoid it or their body is not capable to sustain energy to perform it. Here are the diseases that causes sex to go away.


Injuries to the back/Spine problems

by theladyofshalot

The back supports all human activity and whenever it is impaired, chances are the whole body have to compensate and decrease full functioning. Sex is considered a vigorous activity and even healthy people feel tired after doing it. If a back injury is present, sex is not only a difficult activity to do but a painful one as well.

Diabetic neuropathy

because of the nerve damage associated with the disease, erectile dysfunction in men and vaginal dryness in women occurs. With these instances, couples are given a hard time to perform sexual acts. Erectile dysfunction is the inability of the penis to hold erection long enough to bring a satisfying sexual experience not only to his partner but also to himself. Vaginal dryness causes irritation to the vaginal walls of the women and puts women at risk of abrasions and trauma to the vaginal wall. Dryness also reduces the sensation in  sex. Diabetic neuropathy not only affects erection but can also cause premature ejaculation to men.

Myocardial infarction

Myocardial infarction (MI) is the death of the heart muscle tissue because of the lack of oxygen supplying it. With too much activity, the heart requires more oxygen thus making more heart muscles to weaken and die. Remember that sex is considered a strenuous activity and performing it can be detrimental to a person’s health especially when he has MI. Actually,all heart diseases requires a person to avoid having sex especially in times when the heart has already exerted too much effort. People with MI are actually allowed to have sex when they have met a set of qualifications for them to be considered safe enough to workout. But the thought of having a heart attack can be make the person too anxious to even try to have sex.

Hypogonadism

The drive for sex is controlled by the hormones that the body secrete. Hormones are secreted by the testes in males and ovaries in female. When these hormones becomes deficient or absent, they create reactions to the person to have low regard to sex. The most common causes of hypogadism are actually genetic disorders so a person can somewhat predict that sex is not possible when a person have such disorders.

Colostomy
Persons with colostomy are not easily identified from a crowd because their disability is hidden under their clothes. But intimate situations that involve undressing and exposing their private parts cause them to be anxious because this will lead to the discovery of their illness. People have the tendency to deviate from things that are not normal or common. Sex is a very intimate thing for them and engaging in it needs full trust and cooperation from them to their partners.

Dyspareunia

Sex should be an enjoyable act but when its painful people try to avoid it. Dyspareunia is actually the occurence of pain in the process of sexual intercourse. There are a lot of reasons for this to occur but most of the time it is the women that experiences this kind of ailment. The approach to treating this is dependent on the factor that is causing it, like vaginal dryness. You can try to use water-based lubricants. But then if lubricants doesn’t seem to work, you have to seek medical attention and your doctor will give you appropriate medicines to cure it.

Enterocele/Rectocele
In order for two people to have sex, the vagina have to have an opening that’s enough to accomodate the penis of her partner. But in the event of an Enterocele ( prolapse of small bowel to the vagina) or Rectocele (protrusion of rectum to the vagina), the vagina will not be able to accomodate the penis because its opening have already been decreased in size with the prolapse. Sometimes, the bulging of the area may not be too extensive to hinder entrance of the penis but then it will bring discomfort to the woman. In the end, frustration may occur and block the couple to engage in sex. What this couple should know is that this illness can actually be cured they just have to meet their doctor and asked about it.

Epilepsy

Epilepsy is the occurrence of episodes of involuntary seizures which is actually a product of neurological disorder. Attacks occur unpredictable and a person with epilepsy may find themselves distance from people because they are afraid to have an attack in a place where people can see them. Besides from this anxiety that they feel, the disease also causes a lot of other illnesses that makes sex an undesirable thing to do. A study actually stated that women who have epilepsy experience dyspareunia, vaginismus (painful tremors of spasms of the vaginal wall during sex) and vaginal dryness.  But then desire of sex is still there but the anxiety and discomforts that sex brings them in the main inhibitng factor that restraints them from doing it.

Vaginismus

The vagina have a lot of muscles in it and they are actually involve in a sexual intercourse most of the time. One important muscle is the pubococcygeus muscle but when this muscle is too sensitive to vaginal penetration, it makes sexual intercourse difficult or impossible to do. Vaginismus is an involuntary reflex response of the vagina and women do not control it. Just like in dyspareunia, treatment also depends on the cause of this condition. What you should keep in mind is that you should not force it and seek medical advice so that proper treatment will be given.

Peyronie’s disease

The skin surrounding the penis is composed of elastic bodies that stretches and contracts whenever the situation needs it to. But when a scar or wound have penetrated the penis, this elastic body is not that elastic anymore and it will cause the penis to curve when it is erected. This disease may not be too severe to cause too much discomfort in the sexual department but when the extent of the curvature makes it impossible for the penis to enter the vagina, it then hinders sex. But then this disease may progress without any known cause. The treatment of this disease is already known and persons suffering from this condition need not to worry.

Priaprism

The penis erects when it is activated with libido. Libido increases blood flow into the penis and then increases its size in diameter and in length. Normally, it will return to its relaxed state after the intercourse. But in priaprism, the penis does not relax and remain erected for long hours. This condition may have been caused by the plugging of the blood vessels that drain blood out of the penis. Having your penis erected for an extended period of time may be desirable for men but you should keep in mind that stasis of blood will induce blood clotting in that area. When this happens, blood flow will be impeded and it will cause that part of your body to be suffocated and eventually to die. You wouldn’t want that, right?

Desperate Wife Asks: How to Save My Sexless Marriage

by antonina-w-ogrodzie
No one said that marriage is easy. Its something that no one is an expert on. What everyone should know is that its a relationship. There are moments that it has ups and downs and these are actually the challenges that you have to face as a couple. Now, marriage has a lot of components and one of it is sex. Its funny when you go to mass and you hear the pastor say that couples are so unpredictable. When they are not yet married, you can’t take them out of the bed but after they are married, you cannot make them go to bed. Yes its funny but behind all the laughs is the hard reality that this incident actually happens and most of the time, its the wife left weeping.
Ladies, i know its hard to be in this situation but what you should know is that there’s still something that you can do about it. Crying is a good way of venting out but after it, make your move and do everything to make him  cry for your name this time.. in bed.

by ♪ §hel ♫

Do a makeover.
Women nowadays are so busy that they often forget to care about themselves. This is ok when you have no husband but when you do, maybe you should start getting up early and putting on extra time for yourself. Try going to the salon and having a makeover. The secret here is the surprise. Gradual changes are ok but if you want the full effect of it, risk it by having a full makeover. surprise him after work and wait for him outside his office. Let’s see how many miles per hour will he race your car to your house just to get you in bed.

by blackpixie

Make time for your spouse.
When was the last time that you actually had time for each other? Because of too many things that you commit yourself to do, you forget that your husband needs you too. Start managing your time so that you will have an evening alone with him. Ask him to go home early so that you can spend the night in a hotel or you can you out of town once in a while. Make him feel that you are prioritizing him over anything. Besides, how can you possibly have sex when you go home and he’s already sneezing and he go to work while you are knocked out in bed?

Is there a Happy Sexless Marriage?

Liberation is already spreading and sex is no longer a topic that people stay away from. Advertisements and huge billboards often scream of sex. Its a very courageous thing to admit that you have no sex in your marriage and yet you stay in it. People are actually amazed to find out that you are happy with it. Then what makes a sexless marriage a happy one?

Its not going to kill you

The thing about sex is that it is a need but then not having to satisfy this need will not make you faint and die. You may feel incomplete without it but you will never go insane without it.
Fill that space with things that you see lovable and great about your partner.

Both ends should meet
When you are having a sexless marriage, the two of you should meet in the middle. When the absence of sex is something that the both of you decide to have then being happy with it is never impossible. When there is a disagreement in one part of it, then there will rise a problem.

Accept it

Maybe this is the secret in staying happy despite a lack of sex in a marriage. Accepting the fact that sex is no longer a part of your marriage will give you the feeling of not having to pressure yourself about it. If your partner can no longer give you sex like before, accept it and find other means to fill this gap. Humans tend to dwell on the things that they can’t have. They try even harder to get it. Let it go, don’t obsess on getting this thing that you desire. Accept it and be contented with what you have.

The Role of Sex in a Marriage

In every marriage it is inevitable to have no-sex in it. Sex can be the binding factor for a marriage and it is something that people look forward to in a relationship. Sex is a need and people must engage in sex to satisfy that need. Marriage brings that needs to near fulfillment. But then to people, its more than just that. Where does sex play their role in a marriage?

by Lite Speed Photography

Shows a feeling of being wanted, connected and loved.
There is no other way of expressing your deepest love to your partner other than sex. Its like the Top of the pyramid, the Top 1 in the billboard charts. Sex is a way of communicating your feelings to your partner through touch and actions. It makes you feel that you know your partner even more and that you have nothing in between the two of you. It gives you the feeling that you and your partner is one. When two people engage in sex, they see the totality of each other. They have the chance to explore each other. With sex, two people get to cuddle and be sweet and romantic to each other.

Keeps marriage intact and bonded.

It is said that sex keep the relationship alive. It is a like a gauge of how intimate the couple is with each other. It strengthens the bond that you two have made in your vows. It also intensifies this bond when it brings another member to your family. Every time you engage in sex, you give your body to your spouse and you renew your vows as well. Its a duty that you have to fulfill as a wife or husband to your partner. You have made an agreement to enter marriage and sex is one thing that the two of you should meet whenever needed.

Makes marriage exciting and satisfying.
Sex is a pleasurable experience. The feeling of achieving orgasm is one heavenly experience especially when you have it with your loved one. The sight of satisfying your partner is also an achievement. You get to feel that you bring happiness to your partner and that you have the ability to satisfy your spouse. Its also a remedy for quarrels and arguments. Its a great way to say i’m sorry to your loved one, or better yet you can start with a make-up argument and end it up with a long and sensual love making.

Promotes relaxation and as a recreational activity for the couple.

Although sex is a vigorous activity, sex promotes relaxation and clears your mind from your worries. It can help you and your spouse relax after a long day has gone. You two can try massaging each other before or after sex so that you promote further sensuality to the act. The long foreplay, kissing and hugging is a light activity and it gives you that kind of feeling that seems like you have no care in the world and that you can live with just your partner.

by Alienette


Pushes infidelity away.

Most often than not, sexless marriage brings infidelity to a marriage. With the presence of sex in a marriage, the bond between the couple is strengthened and they have a sense of commitment to one another. They will not be vulnerable to temptations and they will not seek for any one’s attention besides their couple. When your need for sex is met regularly, you desire less sex and you tend to focus your self to other things. Sex will not be a source of a gap between the couple and will not lead the marriage to a divorce.